In the vibrant tapestry of faith, we find ourselves woven together by the threads of love, grace, and truth that bind us as believers in life's journey. Whether we find ourselves in the embrace of marriage, the solitude of singleness, the mending of divorce, or the tender ache of widowhood, we stand united in devotion to Jesus Christ and his word. This picture embodies our church’s vision statement as “a body of believers, bound together by our love for Jesus Christ and his Word, reflecting God’s love, grace, and truth.”

Imagine a mosaic of souls, each unique, yet collectively reflecting the splendor of God’s love. Within the sanctuary of our hearts, singles hold a cherished place, celebrated for the richness they bring to our community. Yet, in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 scripture states that, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow…” These verses express the universal importance of connection. In our church community, we offer support to every member. It's equally vital for each individual to actively pursue personal growth and intentionally engage in one another's lives, regardless of marital status. “From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.”[1]

Singles Share Powerful Insights in Recent Survey

Our church body recently embarked on a significant undertaking, delving into the experiences of our single members through a comprehensive singles survey. In the survey, the voices of over 450 singles aged 25 and over, from 67 churches, shared their insights including joys, sorrows, and struggles. Two-thirds of the singles reported being committed to the local and national church. Yet, despite the Apostolic Christian Church being a welcoming place for families, singles expressed challenges in feeling included. They desire to be part of a community that “does life together.”

While some individuals find contentment in singleness, more than 50% expressed a desire for marriage. As a church community, it's crucial to acknowledge that while some, like Paul, possess the gift of contentedness being single, others yearn for companionship on life's journey. Let's embrace and support each other, while also recognizing and respecting each person’s diverse path and needs. We recognize that we may not be able to change each other’s circumstances, but we can walk beside and let others know we care.

Among the revelations was a clear call for action from singles, a plea for deeper integration, and a longing to diminish the lines between age or marital status. Singles yearn for companionship and true belonging within our fellowship. As a church, we are committed to extending support. It's a good time for consideration of ways we can help each other grow stronger in Christ.

Helping Each Other Grow Stronger in our Walk with Christ

First, let’s shift our mindset and recognize our identity in Christ more than our marital status. Let's embrace the diversity of needs among singles and foster genuine connections that transcend societal norms. “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.”[2]

We can create spaces of genuine connection by personally inviting singles into the fabric of our church life and empowering them to enrich our collective journey. Married members are encouraged to reach out and get to know singles, widows, widowers, and divorcees; understand their stories; and offer support. Yet, singles understand they are also responsible and accountable for reaching out to married couples and learning of their journeys, joys, and sharing encouragement they may need. 

The survey reported loneliness as the number one challenge for singles, especially on Sundays. Therefore, let us be intentional in our inclusivity, creating avenues for fellowship and interaction that span generations and genders.

Two-thirds of singles reported they would like more support from their local congregation. In keeping within that line of thinking, here are some ways to support them.

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Ways the church family can be supportive to singles, widowers and those who have journeyed through divorce:

1.    Invite them to join you in the bench in church.

2.    Invite them to join you for a meal and invite others - married or single.

3.    Get to know their story.

4.    Pray for them regularly.

5.    Pray for them over the pulpit.

6.    Send a simple text or note of encouragement. It means so much!

7.    Remember them as they walk through different seasons. For example, if they lose a parent, consider what it must be like to walk through that journey alone. Or if they are widowed or divorced, consider the challenges and loneliness they may face after having a helpmate for so many years.

Ways singles, widowers, and divorcees can support married couples, families, and the church in general:

1.    Pray for them regularly.

2.    Reach out to a married couple and get to know them and their family.

3.    Offer to help meet needs as they are expressed by couples, families (ex., offer to babysit, take a meal, etc.)

4.    Stay active in the church community.

5.    Send words of encouragement through a text or written note.

6.    Joint Bible studies.

7.    Joint mission projects (E.g., working together as married couples, families, and singles at local food banks, packing clothes, etc.)

Let us extend our arms in friendship, reaching out to singles with transparency and compassion. Likewise, singles should reach out to married couples, fostering mutual understanding and support through prayer and shared experiences. Remember, these interactions are not just for the benefit of singles, but for enriching our entire church community. “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”[3]



As we integrate more closely one with another, we collectively shine as beacons of Christ’s love in a world yearning for connection and belonging. Let us embrace this beautiful opportunity to walk hand in hand, for as we integrate, we truly illuminate one another, shine for Christ, and share his love with others.

[1] Ephesians 4:16

[2] Romans 12:10

[3] Philippians 2:4